MY UNFORGIVING PIXIE BY NETRA PUROHIT

Not all women with pixie are same.

Some are defeated.

These women are not that edgy,

their feminine features are not intact.

They are confused for a man sometimes.

These women are not lauded for the courageous act of shaving it off.

These women look like an anomaly — a misprint on femininity.

These women make a bold stride in a wild feminist rebellion

only to realise that it morphs into something masculine.

Their cut is not that feminine as Audrey Hepburn,

Anna Hathaway, Mandira Bedi,

or even Kiran Bedi for that matter.

It is not sophisticated on the periphery.

Their cut springs from the side partition

like a fine-toothed plastic dusting brush,

overgrown at the nape of their necks.

They do not give off that nonchalant air

in the boxy oversized t-shirt.

They don't style their best.

They wear skinny jeans,

the little ones of them wear skirts to school

in their slouchy silhouette.

They wear the iconic Ballerinas.

These women are often confused for a boy

because sometimes their bosoms are not visible.

They are redirected to the befitting male washroom by the janitors.

Little children ask their mum whether they are a "bhaiya" or a "didi."

These women are given disgusted epithets —

"bijouka" (scarecrow), “mannish”.

These women are impulsive.

They do not anticipate the aftermath,

The horror of looking in the mirror every morning —

the facial hairs are more visible,

their skin looks more textured,

their twisted teddy nose is exposed,

the dark fold of their neck is more exposed.

They are unfit to wear the feminine staples

and they prefer not to, even if they want to

because they don't want to invite some unwanted squints.

They sometimes go for a trim.

Their futile rebellion survives a few more trims.

But after that, they feel defeated,

they start hating it too.

They are a little frustrated by now.

What started as an act of rebellion is undesirable now.

They want to grow out the pixie.

They are unaware of the awkward stage of growing it out.

The twigs of hair jut out in every direction,

They shove bobby pins after bobby pins.

They do grow it out with annoyance.

And once it is grown, they aggressively tie back their weathered hair into a tense bun for convenience's sake.

Now they go for a new cut — maybe curtain bangs,

intended to frame, soften, and not expose.

It becomes yet another struggle in managing the grease.